Whenever some celeb gets in trouble for alleged racism there is always a hue and a cry and a lot of talk, talk, talk.

I applaud all the companies that have made the entirely appropriate response of severing their business relationships this individual.

I’ve never really been interested in her or her products so I have no support to pull.

Consistent positive action, I believe is what will make a difference. I hope all the African-Americans who are upset that they helped make an (alleged) racist rich are giving serious thought to what they do with their dollars. I hope that they are committed to give due consideration to where their money is going all the time and not just when a scandal breaks. And not just, you know, expending a lot of energy on twitter and facebook and blogs reacting.

Don’t get me wrong. Boycotts and letter-writing campaigns can indeed be useful. But one has to be proactive as well. Personally, I went and bought that Patti Labelle cookbook I’ve had my eye on for some time now.https://i2.wp.com/ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51GoJFTIj0L.jpg


Got Caught Slippin’!

April 6, 2013

One of the suggestions I have adopted from BWE discussions is to never go out looking less than “done”.  I go for a very natural look, but I don’t go further than the end of the driveway without it.

I’m pleased to say that I have maintained this habit for years… until one day this week. 

I was running late to take my children to an activity, and could still make it on time–if I didn’t take the seven minutes or so to put on my makeup.  Well, not wanting to make them late because I couldn’t get my act together, I went out barefaced.

Clearly I need a backup bag.  Something small that can hold the essentials and fit in my car.

I’ve already gone online and started ordering one or two things.

Do you carry a makeup backup?  What’s in it?

In April of 2009, (it’s been 4 years, my how time flies) BWE blogger Khadija Nassif encouraged black women to leave the helping professions in this post. The content is now contained in her book, but the comments are still there. sidenote: You should buy the book and tell all your friends!

I remember having several long conversations with an old friend who agreed. She was a teacher and there was no end to the tales of unruly or uncaring children, unsupportive administrations and parents who demanded at the eleventh hour that she come up with some sort of way for their child to raise their grade, AFTER ignoring all the interim reports about their progress.
She has now retired from the field and looking for new opportunities. I asked her if she knew that there was still such a thing as a “governess”.

Yes, dear readers, the governess is not a mythical creature found only in old musicals or Charlotte Bronte novels. These days she’s more likely to wear khaki capris than a gray woolen dress, and will not find it necessary to fashion clothing for the children out of old drapes.

She will probably have a degree in education and experience in that field, and may need to be multilingual. (This will depend, of course. My research has shown that several Russian families and perhaps others overseas specifically want an English-speaking governess for their child. English is still seen as the most important language for business in many parts of the world. I remember Khadija’s admonition to us all to remember that!)

In several countries, the popularity of the governess is on the rise. American families looking to hire a governess may include those who travel frequently and want to take their children along to experience the world, or those who can afford private school but want the ultimate in customized education for their child.

This includes manners and etiquette. Since she is a kind of mentor to the children, she may also be expected to be a healthy eater who engages in regular exercise. A pleasing personal presentation matters. In other words, working on being “flawless” helps. You’re not going to get the choicest governess positions looking like a schlump.

In this article in the UK publication The Telegraph, the rising popularity of nannies is attributed to parents who want to give their children an edge over the competition.

Tutorial agencies said the return of governesses was being fuelled by increasing competition to pass entrance tests for popular schools, and by parents determined to give their children an advantage in GCSE and A-level exams

The article goes on to state the many perks: international travel, room and board, enough free time to pursue personal goals. The salary can be double what teachers make.

This seems like a fantastic possibility if you are a teacher who loves to teach, but wants a better work environment. It could be an opportunity to travel, and meet new and interesting people. I invite you to ponder if a position as a governess might suit you for awhile. There are even schools you can attend if you want to augment your skills for this niche market.

Further reading:

What do you say, teachers. Would you consider it?

What’s Up, FL?

March 25, 2013


Well, I’ve been busy (who hasn’t?) and just lost the will to blog awhile ago.  I’m starting to feel the urge again.   I’ve given some thought to topics I would cover, and whether there should be separate blogs.  Should I keep this blog as a free-for-all for whatever is, as the blog states, “On My Mind”?  Or should I specialize?

Lately I’ve been thinking about Islam and the ways in which people lose it or change the way they live it, the meaning and practical application of fashion, and various topics that relate to BWE.

Where will I go? 

We’ll see.


Eid Mubarak

August 30, 2011

Got up and got all the kids ready (with alot of help from the Mister) and got to the first prayer.
In the middle of making an Oreo Ice Cream Cake for the first time. If it’s any good I’ll let you know.

Keep it Fly for the Hubs!

January 4, 2011


Looking good together

As my friend Monica says, I have to “be more vain,” and have more pride and self respect. Further, real talk, I’ve got a handsome husband who makes a good living and takes darned good care of me and my children. Trust, I’m not the only who has noticed that. He deserves a wife who keeps herself up. –Roslyn, commenting at The Sojourner’s Passport blog.

One day a few years ago, Mr. Foreverloyal and I were out to dinner at a trendy restaurant in a nice section of town.  As we were on our way to our car, a voiced called out his name, and a middle-aged man came up and said hello.  My husband introduced us, he smiled warmly and we exchanged pleasantries for a few minutes before going on our way.

That night,  I was wearing a nice outfit, including a new jacket that fit and flattered.  (As an aside, fit is at least 33% of making clothing work for you.  This was the first top I had ever bought in petite size.  It’s amazing what proper-length sleeves and no excess fabric on the back does for your look)  I looked quite presentable, which is more than what can be said for how I looked the previous week.  I would have been embarassed to meet any of his friends/business associates that night.

A husband and wife is a team, and in addition to all the other ways in which they support each other, they should each be a flattering reflection of the other.  Your appearance and comportment does have an effect on how your husband is viewed by others.  Make it a positive one.

It's a New Year. Are you ready to go to the next level?

It’s been a pretty good year for improving my self-presentation.  I’ve lost 16 pounds, found a fabulous eyebrow threader and developed a habit of not leaving the house without my (very natural) makeup.

I’ve bought some clothes (to shrink down into) and I can get into the clothing I couldn’t wear last year. YAY! (Alhamdulillah)

This year’s goals:

1. Keep a basic mani/pedi

2. Lose the last of the weight

3. Develop my “look”.  I’ve given this alot of thought and am most of the way there.

4. Buy/make my basic pieces/accessories.

5. Keep up on accessory maintenance (shoes/bags polished, knowing where my earrings are!)

6. Try tumeric for fading dark spots.

7. Get rid of everything that doesn’t fit and flatter, unless it’s for scrubbing the house/gardening

8. Put another few inches on my hair length.

9. Keep up on Mr. Foreverloyal’s shoe/belt polishing

10. Iron shirts/skirts/pants weekly in one session to make it easier to get out the door looking pulled together.

What about you? How did you do last year and what are your goals for this year?

Have you decided to go forth and be gorgeous?

We had a lovely Thanksgiving yesterday.  Roast turkey, cornbread dressing, mashed potatoes, all that.  Pumpkin roll, pumpkin pie, apple cobbler.  I didn’t stuff myself but I did eat whatever I wanted.

Today, it’s back to the eating plan that has had me dropping weight as easily as falling off a log. Why?  Because as my husband wisely said, “It isn’t Thanksgiving that’s the problem.  It’s the three and four days after of eating the leftovers.”  So no leftovers for me (except turkey).  It’s back to mesclun salad, sauteed spinach and fresh berries.  It’s about 5 weeks to the new year and I intend on being substantially smaller on January 1st.

So you, there. Yeah you with the leftover mac and cheese.  Put it down and pick up the salad fork.

Go forth and be gorgeous.

Glowing skin and a tiny waist on a plate!

I Love me!

“When it comes to other adults, I refuse to be more invested in an issue than the people who are directly affected by it. So, in your case, if you don’t value your health, I don’t care about your health either. It’s your party, you can unnecessarily die an early death if you want to. Your free and voluntary choice to set yourself up for unnecessary health problems does not trouble me. To the tune of the Isley Brothers: {“it’s your thang, do what you wanna do…”}”  –Khadija of The Sojourner’s Passport blog, http://sojournerspassport.com/

What does the world see when they look at you? 

A woman who holds herself in high esteem, or one who doesn’t necessarily think she’s worth a whole heck of alot?

And how does that influence how you are treated?

I was going to do a longer post, and maybe I”ll flesh it out a bit later.  But, in sum:

If you keep yourself at a healthy weight, step out always with neat hair, groomed nails, makeup, and flattering clothing, you are telling the world that YOU MATTER.  After all, you put in the effort to take care of yourself.

If you are significantly overweight and disheveled, you are telling the world that you don’t hold yourself in high regard and can’t be bothered to treat yourself well.

Don’t be surprised if you are treated with a little more or less regard, accordingly.

Decide you are worth it, and

Go forth and be gorgeous.

Let's party!

This holiday season, I’m challenging all the readers of these blogs who believe in Black Women’s Empowerment to literally put their money where their mouth is.  I think there’s something in the air because shortly after I said as much over on Khadija’s blog, Faith put out this post:  http://actsoffaithblog.com/call-for-links-shout-outs-love-to-each-other  .  I hope everyone will chip in with their BWE gift ideas by emailing Faith for her future post.

Now, I’m sure neither of us is suggesting that you forgo the mall altogether.  Personally, I think everyone should set as a minimum three gifts/activities.  That can be going to see a positive play about bw, buying a gift from a bw vendor on etsy, or giving a book from Roslyn, Khadija, Evia etc. as a gift for a black woman/girl in your life. (Well, I wouldn’t give a teenager a Roslyn book.  Her mama might bless you out).

I’ll be posting my efforts, and I hope you’ll be sharing yours.