White Mother-in-law?

September 2, 2007

motherinlaw.jpgMine is as cool as a fan.

Sometimes I forget how easy this aspect of “interracial” marriage has been for me, masha’allah.

When I was preparing to meet my mother-in-law for the first time, I was a little nervous.  As any woman might, I was hoping that she would approve.  I wanted her to find me nice enough, smart enough, pretty enough, etc. etc. for her wonderful son.  For me however there was that extra question:  Would  she be cool with the fact that I was black?  This is not something that I wondered on a conscious level at first.  It was only when I was packing for the trip that the thought crossed my mind.  But my prospective fiance hadn’t even brought it up, so it wouldn’t be an issue, right?

Right.  She made me feel welcome from the minute I stepped through the door.  The guest room was all made up for me and the bathroom was stocked with clean fluffy towels, an assortment of travel-sized bath oils, even new toothbrushes and toothpaste in case I had forgotten mine.  I dined with my future parent-in-law and husband that evening in their sun-filled kitchen and was completely relaxed. 

Later on, his mom told me that I was the first girl her son had ever brought home and that he had never been serious about anyone before.  I could tell she was genuinely happy for us.  (And happy for herself I realized later.  This woman loves grandchildren and another son getting married meant she could expect more of them.)

We have been married some years now and though she and I don’t always see eye-to-eye on things, we have a great relationship.  We chat on the phone sometimes and send each other little gifts.  Both of us love crafty pursuits like sewing and gardening, and I know she likes it when I ask her opinion on these things as it shows I value her experience.  When we see each other she always has a smile and a hug for me. 

When it comes to marriage everyone wonders how they will “fit” with their new family.  Some people won’t consider an “interracial” relationship due to the belief that it would be too complicated to have in-laws of a different “race” on top of the possible differences that come with being raised in different families.  I am happy to say that hasn’t been my experience at all.


3 Responses to “White Mother-in-law?”

  1. safiya Says:

    I had the same feelings about meeting my mother-in-law. The language barrier didn’t help, but Alhamdulilah, she’s a wonderful lady and she knows I love her son very much.

  2. foreverloyal Says:

    What language does she speak?

  3. Safiya Says:

    Arabic,as Mr Outlines is Syrian. Anyway, insha Allah it gives me plenty of encouragement to learn it!

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