Confident Muslimas are Scary

September 26, 2007

RiveterAnd  annoying. 

Mine is a fairly new blog.  I have only been at this for a few months now.  I am not terribly controversial, or so I thought.  So imagine my surprise when I attracted a troll with my early posts, “Dive In” and “Muslimas Must Be Drab”.  This blue-haired pencil-topper told me I looked like a “jacka**” (they assumed the photo accompanying “Dive In” is me, it is not) and suggested I “submit like a good little muslima” with the encouragement to have my, um, nether regions clipped while I was at it. 

What did I do to attract such vitriol? Had I called anyone a kaffir? Accused scarf-less women of being loose? Did I call for the closure of movie theaters and the eradication of fluffy bunnies and ice cream from the face of the earth?  What was my crime?

Simple.  What is so offensive about me is that I am a happy, confident muslim woman leading a comfortable life (masha’allah).  I forgot that I am supposed to be oppressed.  I am supposed to be married to a wife-beating tyrant instead of a caring, supportive husband.  I’m supposed to be suffering under a burqa instead of  skipping around town in a fashionable tunic set and scarf.  How dare I write about planning to go on vacation and enjoy the water?  What nerve of me to show that I have a brain and I will use it.  I am supposed to bow and scrape before all that is male after all!

You see, the only way some people, women in this instance, can feel good about themselves is vis a vis the perceived lower position of other women.  That’s why you’ll sometimes see a trim woman seemed a little pissed that a fat woman has a cute husband.  Because after all, fat women aren’t supposed to be able to attract a quality man.  In the same way, if your life is pretty miserable for whatever reason, it might make you feel better to think to yourself “Well at least I’m not a muslim woman.  Those poor, sexually mutilated, oppressed things!”

And so, O ye troll, whose comments I deleted.  I’m sorry that you feel lacking in some area of your life.  I’m sorry that the concept of a happy and confident muslim woman makes your world spin off of it’s axis.  But if you’re looking to find a pitiful specimen to make yourself feel better, keep looking.  Because you’re not going to find her here.  Masha’allah.


16 Responses to “Confident Muslimas are Scary”

  1. CreoleInDC Says:

    Do you need me, my bat andmy flashlight to come over there and help you get some things straightened out? I’d do it for free.

  2. Cozy Sister Says:

    For real! I’ve said it before, but the only people who have ever come close to oppressing me are people who hate me because…drumroll…they think I’m oppressed! Fortunately this “oppression” I’ve dealt with hasn’t been more than stinkeyes and verbal harrassment, which I’d probably get anyway if I were dressed differently. They’d be sexual references instead of Islamophobic ones in that case. I call it hating the victim, which is related to blaming the victim. The hater sees you, decides you’re oppressed (as though your entire life is summed up in one square meter of fabric), then goes on to hate you for being “weak” enough to not throw off this “oppression.” It’s a really arrogant position. “ZOMG, she’s wearing something I would never want to wear! Her life must be one of utter despair and servitude! She would not allow herself to be treated like that unless she were a halfwit who lacks ability or motivation! I’m totally better than her.”

    But you should kind of be glad to have a troll…no one cares enough about my blogs to troll me:-p

    That graphic is cool.

  3. patsgirl Says:

    I enjoy your writing & visit regularly. Trolls are proof that you’re saying something relevant. You’re right, some are threatened by confident, intelligent women. Keep talking, we’re listening.

    @cozy sister: be careful what you wish for 😉

  4. Greetings! I just responded to your reply on my blog, and I was curious to learn of a similar phenomenon I’ve been blogging about form a
    Christian perspective, but from a Muslim one.


  5. Amazing Says:

    Thank You! It is an experience. I’m hoping to hear from more people and receive feedback from people in similar situations.

  6. cozysister Says:

    Patsgirl, you’re right! Now if only I realized these things before pushing submit instead of after…

  7. foreverloyal Says:

    @ Creole–umm… what’s the flashlight for?

    @ Pvw–It’s an interesting question. You are talking about women being passed up for positions in favor of men, right? I don’t have any examples that I’ve witnessed, I’ve never been heavily involved in masjid administration. I do know that one of the big national organizations, ICNA or ISNA, recently elected a woman as head.

    @Patsgirl and Cozy–trolls are not fun. i got that graphic from another muslima site, don’t remember which one.

  8. safiya Says:

    Salaam Alaikum,

    I love the picture and the words of the post too. If they (trolls) knew the stories of the great Muslim women like the Mothers of the Believers and the Sahabat (May Allah swt be pleased with them all), they would know that Muslim women are known for their strength! Alhamdulilah, Allah swt gives us so much.

  9. CreoleInDC Says:

    So we can see in the dark.

  10. foreverloyal Says:

    Remind me to stay on your good side. 🙂

  11. SisAddy Says:

    I like the picture

  12. safiyyah Says:

    lol. Have I told you I love you lately? I so do!

  13. Sarah Says:


    I’m an American journalist living and working in the UK. Right now I’m working on an article about Muslim women who wear the hijab, and yet still go to a hairdressers. I think many Brits who are not Muslim or Asian (as Hindus seem to know more about Islam than most white Brits) don’t understand why a woman would cover her hair, yet go to the hairdresser. I have found several salons throughout the country who offer Sharia hairdressing services (curtained off, in private, by females). I am interested in hearing from Muslim women who get their hair dressed, and interviewing them and finding out what the hijab means to them, how they balance their love for Britain with their love for Islam, and how they feel when they know their hair looks good, even if the public doesn’t see it. If you’d be willing to share your views, I’d love to hear from you!

    Please either email me back. Please, PLEASE talk to me guys, someone, anyone. =) For some reason, Muslimas are very reticent to talk about this, and I’m not sure why, as there are so many intelligent, interesting ones out there — why not share your modesty and intelligence with the world? =)

    Warm Regards,

  14. foreverloyal Says:

    Sorry Sarah, I’m not in Britain.

  15. CCBoomBoom Says:

    Salaam, great writing sister keep it up, can’t view the picture everyone is talking about I’m using my phone.. He’s just a misearable epic hater, he needs to keep pushing to the right LoL..

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