Big Girls Need Fun Too…

September 28, 2007


Though some people seem to think they are undeserving of it.  Unfortunately, this often includes big girls themselves.

There were several very large girls at my college.  From what I could see, all of them pretty much went to class, the dining hall, and back to their rooms.  They didn’t go out to eat, didn’t go to the mall, didn’t even participate in campus activities.  They all seemed to walk with their heads slightly down.  All of them but one.

Kim didn’t walk, she strode.  Her head was high, her shoulders were back, and she would look you in the eye with confidence.  She was active in campus clubs, even volunteering to host a traveling group of male singers when they came to perform at our school.  She was amazing, unique in her ability to remain relatively unaffected by societal messages about the worth of heavy women.  She wasn’t delusional, mind you.  She knew that her weight was unhealthy, and severely restricted her date potential besides.  So yeah she was going to aerobics and drinking her water, but she didn’t put her life on hold.  She didn’t feel like she should wait until she was smaller to socialize, to go out, to have fun.  To be worthy of those things.

She acted like she was worthy, and most people treated her accordingly.  There’s a lesson in that:  don’t wait until you have a certain image to value yourself.  You can enjoy life in the meantime, while you are on the journey to get that degree/26 inch waist/clear skin/whatever.  The time to be happy can be now.


5 Responses to “Big Girls Need Fun Too…”

  1. lala Says:

    This was a very beautiful article. Thank you for the message many ppl need to hear it. What struck a cord with me was “don’t wait until you have a certain image to value yourself”. Thats a powerful statement and one that should be repeated over and over…

  2. sparkle86 Says:

    I always have had friends who were big girls in college and high school but I never once seen their heads held down and they always had a supportive circle of friends where weight was never an over-riding issue. I guess it depends on your level of self-esteem. If people see you as confident, you’ll get treated “accordingly”

  3. TVDinner Says:

    I dunno sparkle86, I’ve known an awful lot of big girls who walked head down, so this entry really resonates with me. Life is too short to put it on hold because you have someone else’s idea about how you should be taking up space in your head. And that goes for any woman on any number of subjects. Sheesh. We get bombarded with other people’s opinions all day long about how we should live our lives or if we should wear a veil or if we should date white guys or if we should drink coffee in public when we’re pregnant or if we should breastfeed until the kid can walk or how we should parent our kids or…bleh. I just wanna scream back at those voices in my head to f off and die!

    Phew! And another thing! So much of this weight issue is deeply cultural, too. Here in the US we interpret fatness as being a reflection of a deep and abiding character flaw. I’ve lived overseas a fair chunk of my life and fortunately learned firsthand that not everyone sees it that way. In many parts of Latin America (NOT Argentina) folks just sort of have the attitude, “Yeah, so you’re fat? So what? What’s on TV?” Your worth as a human being does not depend on your weight. I can’t tell you how life-affirming it has been for me to accept that voice into my head and send the other ones (“You’re a fat slob!”) packing. Who needs that nonsense?

  4. CreoleInDC Says:


    I know lots of women who are bigger than the nation’s average size 14 who know their worth so it’s not a mystery to me and I’m glad it’s not.

  5. foreverloyal Says:

    Deck the halls with boughs of holly…
    Tis the season to be jolly…

    Thanks Creole. Now I’m going to have that song stuck in my head all day.

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