Look in the Mirror

March 13, 2008

womanmirror.jpgRoslyn touched off a fuss when she suggested on Halima’s blog that black women who find themselves in relationships with DBR (damaged beyond repair) black men damaged men over and over again are themselves damaged.

She had the audacity to suggest that without doing some self-reflection, they will heed the call to widen their options and simply end up with DBR white men.

This touched a nerve and a flurry of “black women aren’t nearly as bad as black men” “are you saying the community’s problems are our fault?” “why should black women drop out of the dating scene to reflect” blah blah blah.

It’s not rocket science people.  Some women see crazy and cross the street.  Other women see crazy and take him up on his invitation to “chill” at his place and make it a Blockbuster night.  If you are in group two, somethin’ wrong witcha. Sorry.

Now I’m not suggesting that you need to book a flight to Tibet and spend the next ten years fulfilling a vow of silence while you grow root vegetables and examine the depths of your soul.  I’m saying take some time, maybe when you are doing something mindless like folding laundry, and reflect.  I had quite the moment of clarity last year while driving about something in my personality that I’d like to improve.

For some women, the raw, no-holds-barred approach of some of the IR blogs can be a catalyst for thought.  I see many women saying as much in the comments.  So why was Roslyn’s statment so darn controversial?

Don’t be so quick to jump to offense that you discard good advice. 

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4 Responses to “Look in the Mirror”

  1. Muslimah In Training Says:

    This is so true. Many people forget, “Like begets like.”, or choose to forget.

  2. miriam Says:

    I think others have tried to suggest that too. I knw I have, but Roslyn was the most impactful. I only hope it did its job.

    Then again, if it didn’t, perhaps they need that one bad DBR WM date from **** to be the wake up call.


  3. ‘…book a flight to Tibet and spend the next ten years fulfilling a vow of silence while you grow root vegetables and examine the depths of your soul…’

    Man, that sounds like something I would say. I wish I had! *snicker*

  4. foreverloyal Says:

    I think when I wrote that I was thinking about Terra Chips!

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