Holla At Ya Boy!

August 27, 2008

What's up?


For some mysterious reason, many people have been coming to my blog lately via a google search for gollum. (I used his image to make a point in the post entitled “Pathetic.”https://foreverloyal.wordpress.com/2008/01/02/pathetic/)  What’s the deal with that?


Making a Fuss

August 27, 2008

I went out of town for a week with the kids recently.

I thought that while I was gone, Mr. Foreverloyal would have a good time.

I pictured him being able to sleep without the a little knee in his back. (Sometimes the kids still sneak into the bed)  I imagined him working out without tripping over toddlers and using the computer without children pleading to be let in to see him.  He also had a few home improvement projects planned too, which are always easier to complete without small children around.

Don’t get me wrong, Mr. Foreverloyal loves his kids.  But we all need a little break now and again.  Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and all that.

We spoke on the phone the first day I was gone, all was well. The next two days I couldn’t reach him, even at work.  Mr. Foreverloyal NEVER misses work, and I was starting to get worried.  Finally I get a call from him.  He had been in bed really sick with a fever.  I asked him had he taken any of the supplements I had and he said he could barely get out of bed.

Poor guy

Poor guy

I was sooo happy to get home a couple of days later.  I’ve been getting him water and going to the store for enriched juice (C-Boost from Bolthouse Farms, very good). Making him soup and tea, keeping the kids from cannonballing into his abdomen, and of course making sure he takes his supplements.  He’s back at work but is coming home early, and he’s sent straight to bed for more pampering.

With all the little kids running around here you’d think I’d be annoyed at more running about, but I’m actually glad to shower him with the attention.  I think, insha’allah, he’ll be all better in a few days.

That’s another benefit to a good marriage: having someone to fuss over you when you’re sick.


August 26, 2008

Abu Sinan recently made the following controversial statement: I am not a fan of the Muslim community, anyone who reads my blog or posts for long will realise that. I have made it clear that I remain a Muslim despite the seeming attempts of the Muslim communities I have been a part of to rob me of my love of Islam.  http://abusinan-sayf.blogspot.com/2008/08/i-am-not-fan-of-muslim-community-anyone.html

I don’t know that I have ever actually felt that way, but I have had related emotions.  Feelings of not being altogether welcome as a black person in a predominately southeast asian/arab immigrant masjid.  Feelings of not being fully accepted because I wasn’t a salafi.  (Found out there was a rumor going around that my husband and I were sufi, which was apparently akin to devil-worship amongst those doing the yapping.)  Ticked off as a woman used to equal accomodations, that I had to use the rear entrance of the masjid. (This was especially unsettling after 9/11.  The rear of the masjid faced a wooded area.)  Annoyance at being expected to shut off my brain and accept another human, and not even the prophet, as an infallible source of islam, not to be questioned lest I be called a kafir, hypocrite, or maybe just someone skating toward hell.

With experiences like that, and the ones Abu Sinan has apparently had, one can just decide to throw in the towel.  Show up for Friday prayer and ‘Eid, and that’s it.  Keep from expressing doubts or a difference of opinion for the sake of keeping the peace or just plain ol’ not being bothered.

The problem with that, though, is that it keeps like-minded people from finding community in each other.  Sometimes after a much-needed break, it’s necessary to reach out.  Take the risk of being tsked and shushed for having an opinion, for being a little different.  You just might find a few people in that crowd nodding.  Wouldn’t it be refreshing, comforting, wonderful to have a place to belong?  Afterall…

Making the way in the world today

Takes everything you got

Taking a break from all your worries

Sure would help alot

Wouldn’t you like to get away?

To someplace without alcohol, of course.  Pretzels are fine though.  Maybe some green-tea smoothies and butter cookies, too.

What do you think?


* You may be interested in Jeffrey Lang’s Losing My Religion for a bit more on this topic, or https://foreverloyal.wordpress.com/2007/11/20/check-your-brain-at-the-door/ for my related ramblings.

Our National Anthem

August 25, 2008

Is truly a beautiful, inspiring song.

Prepping for ‘Eid-al-Fitr

August 25, 2008

Well, Ramadhan is in a week! I can’t believe it.

For the past few years I’ve been telling myself that I will be ready for ‘Eid before Ramadhan even starts: presents bought/made and wrapped, decorations organized and accessible, ‘Eid clothes bought/made.

Well, um, it looks like that isn’t going to happen.

I did just order ‘eid dresses for my girls, because I’ve accepted that I have too much going on right now to have time to make dresses.  I stocked up on wrapping paper and decorations last year, so it’s just a matter of getting everything together. So to be ready for ‘Eid I need to:

1. Buy/make presents

2. wrap presents

3. Buy clothes for my boys

4. Make sure my girls have accessories (barrettes, tights, shoes, etc.)

5. Plan menus for ‘eid brunch and dinner

That doesn’t sound too bad.  Usually I just do gifts for my household and my immediate family, but I think this year I’d like to give some small tokens to friends and associates as well.

Wish me luck!

He Did it Again

August 16, 2008

The master variety?

The master variety?

So dh decides to make dinner and asks if we have any mushrooms.

“No, but I can run to the store and get you some.  What kind do you want?  Do you want some of those brown mushrooms or–”

“White mushrooms. Those are the best.”

*Foreverloyal raises eyebrows*

Mr. Foreverloyal ( standing firm and defiant, daring me to say anything): “That’s right, White Mushrooms are the Best!”

Me. “humph”

I did go get the mushrooms he wanted though.  Who am I to argue with White Mushroom Supremacy when it means I don’t have to make dinner?

Well, DUH!

August 12, 2008

a necessary sewing tool

a necessary sewing tool

So I’m making curtain panels for the master bedroom.  Yeah I know it’s taking forever but I have a bunch of kids under ten, have had to run the big ones to camp, chase the little ones around and clean their bums, weed the garden, do the shopping, etc.  Plus I have to have my internet time… (shut up!)

Mr. Foreverloyal put the first one up about 2 weeks ago and observed that it didn’t look quite right.  We determined that even though the windows are narrow, they should have two panels instead of one.  I also realized I had probably made a significant error, but I kept that to myself.  Anyway, yay more work for me.

Anyway, so I start work on panel number three, and decided I would, um, PRESS THE SEAMS as I sewed.  I had previously figured that since I wasn’t making clothing, maybe it wouldn’t matter.  It was just a big rectangle, so not pressing wasn’t a big deal, right?  Wrong.  When I took the time to do it right instead of cutting corners, I was amazed, and so was my husband.

He put up the new panel, and the other not-so-great panel this past weekend.  He told me that the new one looks “professionally done.”  He was impressed.  Me–beaming with pride (I like to impress my husband).  So I have three more to make, and I will be pressing those seams.  When they are done I will take down the two not-so-great ones and see if some belated pressing will make a difference.

I can’t believe I skipped that step before.  And to think, I have aspirations of being the muslim Erica B.

Er, don’t tell Erica B. about this, okay?

Once you turn 18 or graduate college, and get a job, is there something amiss if you remain with your parents for awhile?

Are you stunting your development as an adult or as a human being because you are not “out on your own”?

Or could it possibly be that the tendency to look down on those who remain at home is an indication of an ambivalence about, or even a devaluing of family in our culture?

I remember some years ago watching a decoration/renovation show.  The family was expanding their home to provide an additional master suite to be used by the grown son and his new wife.  I remember thinking how unusual it was, but on further reflection could immediately see the benefits. 

Assuming the young couple was a responsible pair:

1. They could save alot of money that would otherwise be going to rent.

2. If they had a child, they would have trustworthy, live-in help with that child.

3. They could benefit the parents/in-laws by helping with the errands and the chores.

In such a situation, the young couple has their own space, and needed privacy (if I recall correctly the master suite was large and in a separate section of the house) while still having the support that an extended family provides.  They could pay off any college loans faster and save money toward a downpayment on their own house.  In a few year’s time,  they could move out, buy their own home and be financially much further ahead than their peers who needed or wanted to live on their own straight out of college.

Of course, we are talking about responsible people here.  If the offspring would merely take the opportunity to live rent free without making any preparations for the future, may as well give them the boot.