March 27, 2009

I hit the Lowe’s today to get just a few things. I only meant to pick up some Mr. Clean Magic Erasers (a necessity if you have small children) and some Drano for the sinks in the master bath.  But I pulled up to the store and oh my goodness!  The spring stuff is out! Tomato plants and lavender and rosemary, mint, cilantro, and of course, STRAWBERRIES!

I couldn’t resist getting an 8pack.

I just have to figure out a way to keep that darn chipmunk out of my garden this year.

yummyliciousness for the backyard

yummyliciousness for the backyard


Why a Black Woman?

March 21, 2009


November 21, 2007 at 9:29 pm

This reminds me of when a friend and I were in Jubail a few years back.

We were invited to a village, and upon entering went to the masjid as it was maghreb. After the prayer, the guy that had invited us to the village introduced us to one of his uncles. Now this uncle was very friendly, spoke reasonably good English, and seemed to be pretty pious. We got talking and he asked if we were both married. Upon affirming this, he asked where our wives were from, and this is how the rest of the dialogue went:

Us: Yeah, they’re from England.

Him: Are they British?

Us: Yeah.

Him: White, ya’nee?

Us: erm.. no, they’re both Somali.

Him: Somali?! You mean….. black woman ya’nee?!

Us (looking at each other, quite bemused): Yeah…

Him: Lot’s of people in the west marry black woman…. but WHY?!

Shit man… astaghfirullah. I thought ‘My dad’s friggin black you racist bastard… why the hell wouldn’t I wanna marry a black woman?’

It has affected me, as whenever I’m asked where my wife’s from I always keep it to, ‘England’ and she’s ‘British’. Not because I’m ashamed of her, but because I don’t want to have to smack the crap out of another Muslim if they respond in a worse way than that guy did.

(I found the above on Umar Lee’s blog)

I have written in the past ( that whenever you see a white muslim man, odds are good, very good that his wife is a black woman.  Some people are confused by this phenomenon.  I’ve read some negative theories as to why this may be the case.  Allow me to offer my own thoughts. 

1.  Black is beautiful

2.  White guys have eyes

Muslim or not, terribly religious or not, men have eyes.  And black women,  like the other women that Allah has created, are beautiful.  Say what you want, all these white converts marrying black women aren’t doing it as an act of charity.  They aren’t doing it because they’re a bunch of wishy washy, nambypamby emotional weaklings who wish to suffer under the oppressive domination of a nagging, shrewish, “strong black woman.”  (No wise person is going to mistake Mr. Foreverloyal for a wimp.  Laughable.  Nor do I get that “wimpy” vibe from the white husbands of any of the muslim sistas I know.)  They marry these women because they’re attracted to them and want to spend their lives together. DUH!

Those who’s lives are restricted by colorism are blind.  They will forever be shaking their heads, “why did that white convert marry a black woman?”

Can’t be that the sound of her laughter reminds him of a woodland stream.

Can’t be her smooth, unblemished skin.

Can’t be because when he told her his dreams, she looked him in the eye and said, “You can do it.”

Can’t be that they agree, Benjamin Sisko was the best Star Trek captain.

Can’t be because she wants 7 children and a backyard garden just like him.

Can’t be because she can make schnitzel for dinner on Tuesday and fried chicken with mashed potatoes and buttermilk biscuits on Wednesday.

Can’t be because she knows the difference between Kant and Kiekegaard.

Can’t be because she makes her 5 daily prayers diligently.

Can’t be because she’s got hair like cotton candy–and he loves cotton candy.

Can’t be the way she hums Billie Holiday when she’s washing the dishes.

The exchange with which I opened this post would be hilarious if it wasn’t so sad.  The poor man really could not see the appeal in black women.  That’s fine really, because there are  plenty of other women for men of his type.  What’s sad about it is that he could be rude enough, and forgetful of his Islam enough, to imply that black women are inferior to others.  That he could insult his brother in Islam like that is a real cause for finger-wagging.

Why a black woman?  Well if you can’t see why I won’t waste my time trying to explain it to you.

*Goes off singing…  “Me I’m super fly, supadupa fly…ahem–masha’allah”


March 18, 2009


My hubby is my hero.

Shout out (and Salaams of course) to Mr. Foreverloyal!

*puts down mic*

Edited to add:  this is NOT a video from me.  It is CreoleinDC, listed in the blogroll. I can never be her.  For one thing, I’m not tall enough.  Tee-hee!

Listen up.

Places change. I know, obvious statement, right? Every sane person would readily acknowledge that the country, state, and town in which they live has changed from what it was 150 years ago or even 5 years ago. So imagine, if you will, a person who insisted on traveling about the state using a map and visitors guide from, say, 1952. They are frustrated when Sycamore Street dead ends in an overgrown field.  When the gas station is boarded up, they are confused.  They are utterly confused when the restaurant where they had planned on stopping for lunch turns out to be a small library.

When they ask you for some insight, you take a look at their materials and say, “Here’s your problem!  Somebody gave you an old map and visitor’s guide.”  You point to a cute brick building across the street.  “The Visitor’s Center is right over there.  They have updated maps, and there’s a sandwich shop in there as well so you can get something to eat.”

“No thanks,” they respond.  “This map has been in my family for years.  It’s perfectly good.”

“But, you’re having a hard time finding anything.  That map is old and alot has changed.” 

“No it hasn’t.  I must just be holding it wrong.  Thanks anyway.”

And you watch them walk away slowly, rotating the map and scratching their heads.

You would call such a person crazy.  After all, only an insane person would insist on using badly outdated maps to get around.

I feel much the same when I see black women holding on to outdated ideas.  (Well, anyone really, but I’m talking about black women today)

The world has changed, sistas.  It is not 1860 or 1920 or 1966.  Rub the sleep from your eyes, clean your glasses, push aside your bangs. 

See the world as it is today, not as it was yesterday.

If not, you will be the one wandering around, dazed and confused.

Ok, not actually flawless.  Perfection, after all, is Allah’s.  But let’s talk about making the most of ourselves–operating at Maximum Flyness–with limited resources.


I do not spend alot of money on my upkeep.  I will share what I do and hope to pick up some tips in the comments.


–I don’t use fancy pre-treatments.  I love to mix coconut and castor oils and add a dab of honey.  I put it on damp hair, top with a shower cap and leave it in.  There are three ways to do it:  Sleep in it, sit under a bonnet dryer for 10-15 minutes on medium setting, or jump around a little.  The heat will help it penetrate your hair.  Shampoo it out with a drugstore shampoo, finish with a drugstore conditioner and work a bit of coconut oil in as a leave-in.  Presto!  Soft, shiny hair.  I have used this on my hair relaxed or natural with equally impressive results.  A 16 oz jar of coconut oil can be had for cheap at your local Indian/Arab grocery, and you can get castor oil in the laxative section of the supermarket.  If you can’t find coconut oil, try olive oil.

–Check the remnant section of your local fabric store.  Remnants are sold at a discount.  Pick up some silk or satin remnants and make yourself some pillowcases or sleeping scarves.  These keep the hair from snagging and reduce breakage.

–Ditch the professional rollerset and blowout and wear your hair wavy.  Twirl sections of damp hair around your fingers, roll into a ball (resembling a cinnamon roll) and pin.  Dry overnight or under a bonnet dryer.  This works for natural and relaxed hair (and naturally straight hair). 

Hands and Feet: 

–Do your own manicures!  I like a very natural look, so I use a Sally Hansen manicure tool.  It has an emery board and buffer built in.  I can shape my nails and buff them to a high shine, no polish required. (Although following up with a coat of clear polish makes it look even better).   This saves on polish as well as the hassle of having to touch up nail color

–Once a week, use a cheap drugstore scrub (Like St. Ives Apricot Scrub) to wash your hands.   Follow up with coconut oil, lotion, or petroleum jelly.  Top with gloves and go to bed.  The moisturizer and gloves can be done nightly.

–I LOVE the ped-egg.  I just use it once a week, then dampen my feet, put on moisturizer and wear socks to bed.  The Sally Hansen tool can also be used to buff and shine the toenails.  A few minutes once a week is all it takes.


Sally Hansen wax strips are the truth!  And much cheaper than getting it done at the salon.  Underarms can be tricky, though, so it might help if you had the assistance of a friend.  And for your legs, there’s always the good old fashioned razor.

I’ll add more later, but I hope this is a good start. 

Here’s an article at

A blog on the subject of lower-priced fashion: