Enforcing Consequences

August 6, 2009

Don't just sing the song...

Don't just sing the song...

“People don’t care about what you say, they are only concerned with your actions”

I can’t remember the exact quote, but I read something to that effect at one of the BWE blogs.  Aggrieved AA women often do a LOT of complaining amongst themselves about this or that act of disrespect.  Not alot of action taking, we just complain, blow off steam, and then go on.

I believe that we have taught people that there is nothing to be lost by offending us, and so the beat goes on.

I’m calling on each of us to say, “No more.”  It is high time to enforce consequences.

But how?

Well, like I said, less talk, more action.  As Evia pointed out, you need not be loud or rude.  Your neck need not pop.  In fact it’s much better if you channel Claire Huxtable and do it with a smile.


A while back I was in the grocery store with my children.  I experienced an act of casual disrespect and poor customer service from several of the store employees.  Silently fuming, I left with my kids.  For the next few days, every time I thought of it I got mad.  Then I thought, I’m goint to do something about this.  I fired off an email to corporate in what’s known as “nice-nasty” style.  I described the incident, pointed out the fact that their competitor, though farther from my home, has far better prices.  I concluded the email by assuring them that in the future, I would be more careful with my shopping list so as not to have to go there so often.  I was in that place 2 or 3 times a week!

In this age of membership cards, it is easy for a store to pull your records and see how often you shop there and how much you spend.  My family is large and we eat mostly organic/natural.  Trust me, I spent alot of money in that store.  I received a letter from the manager stating that he had reviewed the tape and the employees were indeed at fault.  He said that they had been disciplined and asked me to come in to the store and discuss what they could do to regain my business.

Well, I decided, not much.  I appreciated the responsiveness and acknowledgement of wrongdoing.  But hey, it’s a recession and I need to watch my spending.


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