Dating is Not a Charitable Endeavor

September 8, 2009

charityLet me begin by stating that I only believe in dating for marriage.  I’m muslim, and quite traditional in that respect.  So if you believe in dating for kicks and something to do on a Saturday night, none of this applies to you. 

Think about what you really need and want in a marriage.  Where do you see yourself in 2, 5, 15 years?  Let’s talk finances for a minute.  Good conversation and romance is necessary in a marriage in my opinion.  However, it’s not the only thing.  You, your future husband and children are going to need food to eat, clothing to wear, and a place to lie your heads every night.  Therefore, any potential husband needs to be evaluated for his ability to provide those things.  Not only to provide them, but to provide them at a level that is satisfactory to you both.  For instance, if you place importance on eating mostly natural and organic foods, you’ll want a man willing and able to bear the cost of that for himself, his wife and children.  If you’re not a clotheshorse, sew a bit and don’t mind thriftstore shopping, that will lessen the amount he needs to make. Your standards need not be your best friend’s standards and vice versa.

But PLEASE, set some reasonable standards and stick to them.  Marriage is NOT a charitable endeavor.  You’re looking for someone who can add to your life as you add to theirs.

A man may very well have good excuses, even reasons, that he cannot meet your requirements.  Fine.  But as a wise blogger once said, “Reason’s Don’t Matter”  http://www.roslynholcomb.wordpress.com/2009/06/24/free-lesson-20-reasons-don’t-matter   “The fact of the matter remains the reasons are unimportant. The question you have to ask is what impact does this behavior have on you?”

He should, by all ,means, find someone whose standards he can meet.  If you want to be charitable donate your car to the local Salvation Army.  Don’t play games with your life.

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2 Responses to “Dating is Not a Charitable Endeavor”

  1. rainebeaux Says:

    Hi. Thought I’d de-lurk once and for all.

    Great post, and very necessary to boot. I’m going to write down this list of standards now (hmm…I do stay in the thrift store. LOL!) and find my friends’ email addresses (I can’t sleep at night if I keep this to myself).

    Thank you again. 🙂

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