Keep it Fly for the Hubs!

January 4, 2011

 

Looking good together

As my friend Monica says, I have to “be more vain,” and have more pride and self respect. Further, real talk, I’ve got a handsome husband who makes a good living and takes darned good care of me and my children. Trust, I’m not the only who has noticed that. He deserves a wife who keeps herself up. –Roslyn, commenting at The Sojourner’s Passport blog.

One day a few years ago, Mr. Foreverloyal and I were out to dinner at a trendy restaurant in a nice section of town.  As we were on our way to our car, a voiced called out his name, and a middle-aged man came up and said hello.  My husband introduced us, he smiled warmly and we exchanged pleasantries for a few minutes before going on our way.

That night,  I was wearing a nice outfit, including a new jacket that fit and flattered.  (As an aside, fit is at least 33% of making clothing work for you.  This was the first top I had ever bought in petite size.  It’s amazing what proper-length sleeves and no excess fabric on the back does for your look)  I looked quite presentable, which is more than what can be said for how I looked the previous week.  I would have been embarassed to meet any of his friends/business associates that night.

A husband and wife is a team, and in addition to all the other ways in which they support each other, they should each be a flattering reflection of the other.  Your appearance and comportment does have an effect on how your husband is viewed by others.  Make it a positive one.

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Fitting in with the fly crowd

I hang out with some fly mamas.

No, really.  Annie has 4 kids under age 10  and still manages to keep a fresh mani/pedi and go to the salon every few months at least for a haircut.  She switches up her haircolor sometimes too.

Mary has 3 as well, and the only time you might catch her out without her makeup is if you run into her at the grocery store at the crack of dawn on a weekend. 

Lainey  is trim enough to look like she never even had children, and “mom jeans” are out of the question.

They are all stay-at-home moms with husbands and young children who particpate in many activities.

They give the lie to the assertion that frumpyness and dumpyness are an inevitable part of mothering young children, to the idea that it just comes with the territory the way cold air comes with winter.  Such an idea can be easy to cave to.  Especially if all of the women you socialize have.  Sitting on the bench at the playground watching your toddlers, you commiserate.  “The baby spits up on me all the time.  I don’t bother with nice shirts anymore.”  “Who has time for a manicure?  It’s all I can do to get a shower everyday!”  “I’m just too busy.  I’ll wear makeup again when the kids are older.”  And so you give each other permission to settle for the “not-as-bad-as-I-COULD” look

It’s a different scenario when you hang out with fly mamas.  You all have little kids and husbands and houses.  Everyone has diapers to change and dinner to make.  They manage to bathe the kids, do the laundry, cook dinner AND step out of the house with an attractive, casual “mommy on the go” look, so why can’t you?  You start to think about trying for “As-good-as-I-can” look.   The three ladies I mentioned above are proof that it can be done, a subtle message to the less-fly mommies around them:  “You could look like this, too.” 

And if you want to look like that, it’s encouraging to know that it can be done.  If you befriend a fly mama, she’ll probably be willing to help you out.  Recently Lainey helped a friend clear her closet of all unflattering and hopelessly outdated clothing.  Next, she and Mary teamed up to take the friend shopping and critique outfits, Clinton and Stacy style. (Meaning, the friend agreed not to buy anything that Lainey and Mary deemed unattractive on her).  I wouldn’t be surprised if a trip to the salon for an updated cut and makeup consultation was next.

Then there will be yet another certified fly mama in the area.  If this keeps up, it could really catch on.  “Pssst.  Come with us to get mani pedis.  Throw out your mom jeans.  Let’s meet for pilates at my house.  Come on… all the cool moms are doing it.” 

Sure, it’s peer pressure.  But it’s the positive kind.

So, I was talking to my BFF about the ongoing     <a href=”http://muslimbushido.blogspot.com/2008/11/inner-sanctuary-part-4-are-you-ready-to.html“>Feel Flawless</a> effort. 

The topic, this time, was shoes.  I’m often out and about with my children, and I had fallen into the bad habit of wearing sneakers with my long skirts.  Nice heels aren’t really practical as one of my children has the nasty habit of running heedlessly into the street if his hand is not held.  If he gets a head start on me or breaks away for a second, I need to be nimble and quick to catch him.  Yeah, heels aren’t so good for that.  I commented that I had crossover Mary Janes, something like these:

Much better than sneakers

But so often I just grabbed the sneakers.  I wondered aloud exactly  how bad it looks.  She pulled no punches. “Really bad.”  she said.  I think she went on to use such words as “clunky” and “ridiculous.”

See, a real friend will tell you when you are slipping and need to step up your game.  They’re not going to tell you that all is well when you are busting the seams on your favorite jeans.  She’s not going to pretend that new foundation flatters you if it makes your skin look like you’re wearing a Halloween mask.  She’ll tell you that stylist jacked you up and she will not, not tell you that you look ok wearing some running shoes with an ankle length skirt.

Here’s to all the real friends out there.

Sephora Goes Fabulous

July 2, 2008

monica

Well, it looks like Sephora has decided to up their “fabulous quotient” by having the good sense to invite Monica Mingo to guest blog on her favorite products.

If you aren’t familiar with Miss Monica, I can tell you that she is fashionable, inspiring, witty, and entertaining.  I bought two actual handbags for the first time in years and it’s ALL HER FAULT!  Anyway, check out the link.  http://blog.sephora.com/2008/06/guest-blogger-monica-mingos-five-faves.html