Keep it Fly for the Hubs!

January 4, 2011

 

Looking good together

As my friend Monica says, I have to “be more vain,” and have more pride and self respect. Further, real talk, I’ve got a handsome husband who makes a good living and takes darned good care of me and my children. Trust, I’m not the only who has noticed that. He deserves a wife who keeps herself up. –Roslyn, commenting at The Sojourner’s Passport blog.

One day a few years ago, Mr. Foreverloyal and I were out to dinner at a trendy restaurant in a nice section of town.  As we were on our way to our car, a voiced called out his name, and a middle-aged man came up and said hello.  My husband introduced us, he smiled warmly and we exchanged pleasantries for a few minutes before going on our way.

That night,  I was wearing a nice outfit, including a new jacket that fit and flattered.  (As an aside, fit is at least 33% of making clothing work for you.  This was the first top I had ever bought in petite size.  It’s amazing what proper-length sleeves and no excess fabric on the back does for your look)  I looked quite presentable, which is more than what can be said for how I looked the previous week.  I would have been embarassed to meet any of his friends/business associates that night.

A husband and wife is a team, and in addition to all the other ways in which they support each other, they should each be a flattering reflection of the other.  Your appearance and comportment does have an effect on how your husband is viewed by others.  Make it a positive one.

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charityLet me begin by stating that I only believe in dating for marriage.  I’m muslim, and quite traditional in that respect.  So if you believe in dating for kicks and something to do on a Saturday night, none of this applies to you. 

Think about what you really need and want in a marriage.  Where do you see yourself in 2, 5, 15 years?  Let’s talk finances for a minute.  Good conversation and romance is necessary in a marriage in my opinion.  However, it’s not the only thing.  You, your future husband and children are going to need food to eat, clothing to wear, and a place to lie your heads every night.  Therefore, any potential husband needs to be evaluated for his ability to provide those things.  Not only to provide them, but to provide them at a level that is satisfactory to you both.  For instance, if you place importance on eating mostly natural and organic foods, you’ll want a man willing and able to bear the cost of that for himself, his wife and children.  If you’re not a clotheshorse, sew a bit and don’t mind thriftstore shopping, that will lessen the amount he needs to make. Your standards need not be your best friend’s standards and vice versa.

But PLEASE, set some reasonable standards and stick to them.  Marriage is NOT a charitable endeavor.  You’re looking for someone who can add to your life as you add to theirs.

A man may very well have good excuses, even reasons, that he cannot meet your requirements.  Fine.  But as a wise blogger once said, “Reason’s Don’t Matter”  http://www.roslynholcomb.wordpress.com/2009/06/24/free-lesson-20-reasons-don’t-matter   “The fact of the matter remains the reasons are unimportant. The question you have to ask is what impact does this behavior have on you?”

He should, by all ,means, find someone whose standards he can meet.  If you want to be charitable donate your car to the local Salvation Army.  Don’t play games with your life.

Get Yourself a Handyman

October 7, 2008

I’m very grateful to be able to say that Mr. Foreverloyal is handy around the house.  He  has taken apart and fixed a garbage disposal, a washing machine (turns out there was a bobby pin in it, don’t know how that got in there), and built a loft in our garage so that we could have more storage.

It saves alot of money, but nevermind that.  There is something really appealing about a guy breaking out a circular saw, drill and level and building a structure from scratch.  It’s almost primal, makes a woman feel like her man is a manly man!

It was also so cute to see #1 son imitating  his dad.  While Mr. Foreverloyal was building, his oldest son was in a corner of the garage with his toy circular saw, pretending to cut a scrap piece of 2×4.  It’s good to know that insha’allah, my sons too will grow up and be able to build and fix things.

He’s got plans to build a small retaining wall in the backyard and rip out a small dead evergreen in the front.  Me, I need to order the tulips and pick up some mulch.  Every great handyman needs an assistant to help with the details.

Making a Fuss

August 27, 2008

I went out of town for a week with the kids recently.

I thought that while I was gone, Mr. Foreverloyal would have a good time.

I pictured him being able to sleep without the a little knee in his back. (Sometimes the kids still sneak into the bed)  I imagined him working out without tripping over toddlers and using the computer without children pleading to be let in to see him.  He also had a few home improvement projects planned too, which are always easier to complete without small children around.

Don’t get me wrong, Mr. Foreverloyal loves his kids.  But we all need a little break now and again.  Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and all that.

We spoke on the phone the first day I was gone, all was well. The next two days I couldn’t reach him, even at work.  Mr. Foreverloyal NEVER misses work, and I was starting to get worried.  Finally I get a call from him.  He had been in bed really sick with a fever.  I asked him had he taken any of the supplements I had and he said he could barely get out of bed.

Poor guy

Poor guy

I was sooo happy to get home a couple of days later.  I’ve been getting him water and going to the store for enriched juice (C-Boost from Bolthouse Farms, very good). Making him soup and tea, keeping the kids from cannonballing into his abdomen, and of course making sure he takes his supplements.  He’s back at work but is coming home early, and he’s sent straight to bed for more pampering.

With all the little kids running around here you’d think I’d be annoyed at more running about, but I’m actually glad to shower him with the attention.  I think, insha’allah, he’ll be all better in a few days.

That’s another benefit to a good marriage: having someone to fuss over you when you’re sick.